How to brag about running the Chicago Marathon

This article is on the Chicago Tribune link to the Chicago Marathon articles. Written by Julie Deardorff, I believe. It's very funny.

Follow the Runner's Rules
Sorry: Nonrunners don't care that much about your running (Rule 1.48)
If you ran Sunday's Bank of America Chicago Marathon, you'll no doubt want to mention this major, perhaps once-in-a lifetime accomplishment to your non-running friends and coworkers. But for everyone's sake, Runner's World.com executive editor Mark Remy writes in "The Runner's Rule Book," don't get carried away.
It's fine, for example, to casually drop the marathon into a conversation to explain why you're walking down the stairs backward. It's not okay, however, to recite the splits along with your heart rate, "the relative humidity, what you wore (and why) and exactly what happened just shy of the porta potty at mile 17," Remy writes.
Yes, we runners are an often oblivious breed. And whether you're one of them, you want to become one, or you know one, you'll find something you can relate to in the rule book, a treasure trove of running tips, wisdom and cultural observations.
The book includes rules that require further explanation, such as "Do whatever it takes to finish in front of a costumed runner. (Rule 2.32.) Why? "Because being outkicked by Elmo is too much to bear." It also lists dozens of right-on rules of thumb, which are self-explanatory. ("The more expensive the car, the less likely it is to move over for you.")
The "rules" aren't just funny; they're wise, useful ("Cotton socks are the devil,") and they'll help both newbies and seasoned veterans put the sport into perspective. Running, after all, is fun (Rule 1.1). And if you doubt the fundamental joy of movement, Remy wrote, spend a few minutes watching a child in any open space.
"Their glee is instinctual and undeniable," Remy wrote. " I believe it was Aristotle who one said, "Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run." In any case, remember this primary rule and you're halfway there."
A few more Runner's Rules:
For Pete's Sake, Stand Still At Red Lights (Rule 1.46). "Sharks die when they stop moving. Runners do not...There's no need to shuffle or bounce or jog in place or dance from foot to foot like you have to pee. Instead, just chill. Wait a few moments. Then resume running.
A PR is Forever, But...(Rule 1.51). "You may advertise a personal record (PR) time...for two years after setting it. After 2 years, however, it becomes uncool to tell people "My marathon PR is 3:12" without providing a disclaimer--e.g., "My marathon PR is 3:12 but I ran that 63 years ago."
Learn and Love the Farmer's Blow (Rule 1.18). A good Farmer's Blow is wonder to behold, satisfying, efficient and brilliant in its simplicity. A bad Farmer's blow will leave you with a real mess on your hands. Literally.
Remy and the editors of Runner's World also compiled 70 "rules of thumb." Here are ten of my favorites.
1. Women who race in full face makeup are never fast.
2. Women who race in full makeup don't care that they're not fast.
3. One glazed doughnut equals 2 miles.
4. For an estimated marathon finish time, double your half marathon time and add 10 minutes.
5. You almost never regret the runs you do; you almost always regret the runs you skip.
6. Sick? If symptoms are above the neck, you can still run.
7. Buying a piece of running gear just because it's on sale is always a bad idea.
8. If you "need" music in order to run, you're kind of missing the point.
9.To help keep your upper body relaxed during a run, imagine you're carrying a potato chip in each hand.
10. A sock makes better TP than a leaf does.